Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Ugh

Parenting is so hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. And...I'm just going to be real here. Sometimes, like today, I feel like I suck at it. You remember that boy at church or school that just wouldn't sit still? Always acting up, being wild and silly, driving the teacher crazy until she wants to pull her hair out? Yeah. That's my son. And it makes me feel like a failure...obviously I've failed him somewhere, I'm not getting through when I tell him the importance of self control and making good choices and doing our best.

But what is the most heart-breaking for me is that I know his heart. I know he's a kind, compassionate, GENEROUS boy. I know his sweet and gentle side, the REAL Mack. I want everyone else to see that boy! His teachers at school, his teachers at church...I'm afraid all they see is a wild child who exhausts them, even though that isn't his intent. He likes to make people laugh, and silly crazy wildness makes other little boys laugh, so that's what he chooses over self control. I don't want to squash that fun-loving spirit of his, I'm at a loss.

I do know that I love that boy more than I can describe with words. I'm proud of him, and I'm glad I'm his Momma. I just wish I could better help him choose the right choices, do his best, and shine for Jesus.

3 comments:

  1. Heather1/26/2012 12:02 AM

    I'm so sorry for you and for him. Have you tried any diet changes for him? Sometimes that has helped with my students. You and your son will be in my prayers.

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  2. Unknown1/26/2012 12:12 AM

    You are helping him choose the right choices. By living a life that leads by example you are leading him to shine for Jesus. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it Poverbs 22:6. I am sure you have heard that verse before. When you feel like you have failed, take hold of that verse, claim it. Use it to inspire you, and make you be the person that Jesus wants you to be. But, hold onto that truth knowing that if you are doing all you can, so is the Lord. He has made the promise and He ALWAYS keeps them. So enjoy the journey knowing sometimes it is a slow process, and at the end of it you will get to rejoice knowing how far he came and it will make it all that much more special. Thank you for allowing yourself to be real, to share. Know that you are not alone.

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  3. Keetha Broyles1/26/2012 7:16 AM

    It's the Kelly Clone in him.

    I may be the ONLY other mom out there who knows JUST EXACTLY how you feel, being Kelly's mom myself.

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