I have NO will power. I'm so ashamed of myself!!! I woke up this morning and said "TODAY I get back on track." Then I take MJ to get his hair cut. After that, he wanted "Donalds" (McDonalds). Like the rest of the country, we're on a very tight budget so I wanted to get something off the Dollar Menu. So I got a double cheeseburger AND a McChicken! WHY did I get both??? That is just silly. I didn't need both of those! But you know I ate them. At least my tea was unsweetened. Then supper time rolls around. Jason wanted breakfast for supper. So I made scrambled eggs. Only a dash of milk and no butter or oil in the pan. And I had 2 slices of my light bread with light margerine. Sounds good, right? Well not when I kept eating peanut M&M's and dry cereal while cooking the food!!! Later we watch "The Office" and I sit and eat Heaven-only-knows-how-many tortilla chips with salsa.
What is wrong with me?!?! Why can't I say NO to food? I feel disgusting, ashamed, and like a failure right now. And it took everything I had to be honest and actually tell you I ate TWO sandwiches for lunch. I'm thinking if I embarass myself enough on the internet, maybe I'll actually stick to something for once! LOL
13 comments:
Hang in there Keri. You aren't the only one who does that!! Me and the double stuff oreos have been having a love affair the last few evenings. I do the same thing, every day I'm going to do better and by dinner time it's blown to Hades. I keep working on it though, some days I do much better, so I suggest you keep at it, acknowledge your slips, celebrate your victories. And stay away from Donalds!!
So you fell of the wagon, what they don't tell you is that the wagon stops so you can climb the hell back on!
I find if I can avoid eating one of something I can avoid overeating.When I used to work at a vet hospital around the holidays people would FLOOD the place with treats. I know you are a pizza and fried food type person, well that's me with sweets! If I could avoid taking a taste I would be fine but as soon as something sweet would pass my lips it was a freaking horrorshow. I was like jaws or something. If I ate 1 I would eat till I felt sick!
I don't know if it will work for you, it may not. It does work for me. If I do know I am going to eat something bad I will only get a little bit of it, like I would bring a small bowl of chips to snack on. That SOMETIMES works but depending on the day I will sometimes find myself sneaking back to the pantry for more :( so I avoid eating "TRIGGER FOODS". Till then remember today is a new day, and don't beat yourself up :) We all love you.
Aww hunny - I understand you're frustration! That's me and ice cream. It can get scary LOL.
Like evertone has said - today is a new day and make that your thought. I think babysteps. Like baked instead of fried chips?
Plus if you excersise it really helps. You'll loose more (and faster) plus it does so much mentally too. Will help you get past the "bad me" feelings.
Remember - you are already beautiful - we love you!
Lucy
i always find that i tend to eat a little better if i'm exercising. that way my mind says "you did NOT just spend that time on the treadmill for nothin!" and sometimes that helps!
oh and i get really frustrated with weighing myself because it can really bring me down if i don't like what the scale says...so i usually just go by how my clothes (esp jeans) are feelin. that's a good as sign as any as to if you're losin/gainin weight.
good luck...keep workin on it...it will come!
love u!
/hugs I hear ya! Right now Im not worrying too much about it since I had so much trouble keeping weight on with Abbie. I would be so proud for not buying a bunch of crapola from the store and then what does Shawn do? Buys the junk himself....grrrrrr
Hey Keri! I realize you don't know me but I can so relate to the weight struggles. I realized that basically I have never lost weight other then once I had a baby and would lose maybe 20lbs out of the 35 I may have gained. So with having 4 kids and never losing all the weight each time my number kept going up. This spring I had had it and knew something had to change. One thing that has helped my a lot is keeping a food journal of everything I eat. It is honestly a pain and I don't enjoy doing this but it has helped. B/c sometimes when considering if I want to eat something I think I don't want to write this down in the journal so it keeps me from eating. I think writing it down and having to see that I ate cake or candy or whatever is a reminder that I ate badly. Thus I don't want to do that. Also I can look and see what is working and what isn't. I have also become much more willing to not get discouraged b/c I had a bad day or meal. You can change that the next time. Allow yourself the freedom that you won't be perfect and that is ok. It is the percentages that has worked for me. If I am eating good 80% of the time then it is going to work. Even if those other 20% not so good. Keep trying you can do it and it will happen. Remember it may take a while but that is good if it is coming off gradual. It is more likely to stay off that way. I have lost 20# and my goal was to lose 30 anything more that that I will be super thrilled. I need to get started again and keep working towards the goal. Happy losing! One thing that helped is that I reminded myself that I want to be an example to my kids of eating right and taking care of my body. I also want to be around and watch them grow up so I want to play my part in the healthy lifestyle. You can do it. Keep trying. You can feel free to email me if you like or want to chat. mksommers@wifi7.com
I know exactly how you feel!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE food. I have a terrible weakness for grabbing to go food when we are running late!
You don't know me either, but I wanted to tell you I understand! Every baby I go up a size. Yuck! I hate to see what baby #3 will do to my wt. I have no willpower, so that's my weakness also. BTW: I ate chips/salsa while watching The Office premiere also! You gotta celebrate, we waited all summer for that episode. :)
Thanks everyone for the awesome support!!!!! It's nice to know I'm not alone in this battle!!
Karlene and Julie...thanks for commenting and please come back again! :)
I wish I could give great advice or something, but I know I'm the freak in the regular world.
Do you enjoy any raw veggies? I keep my fridge stocked with carrots and pita chips and pickles and bags of premade salad. I actually enjoy eating heads of lettuce, and lemon juice makes a REALLY tasty dressing all by itself, if you enjoy a bit of tartness.
Also, if you can convince Mackinley that Wendy's is as good as Donald's - they sell side salads on the dollar menu - great for the budget and the waistline. (Plus, their french fries aren't coated in sugar, which helps some - even though they're still, you know, fried...)
And at Wendy's you can get Junior Frosties, which are tiny and yet will give you that hint of sweetness at the end of the meal (and usually run around 75 cents, but right now you can buy a coupon book for a $1 at Wendy's for 10 free Junior Frosties to support domestic adoption).
For calcium, what kind of milk are you drinking? And what dry cereal are you snacking on? That's not all bad, if you buy the healthier options in the store.
Most of all, don't feel ashamed. We all have battles we struggle with, even if it's not always food, and most of us aren't even brave enough to share them in public. I'm praying for you.
Hi Keri,
I also struggle with the exact same issues! My big struggle is that I am single with no kiddos, so it's really easy for me to go through a drive through and eat and no one is there to look at me strange if I eat horribly! Believe me, I understand! I joined back to WW, but have been so bad this time around!
Here is some advice though I am trying to live out, because it has helped me, I just haven't been the best about it the last couple weeks...This summer I went through the "Stepping Up" bible study through Beth Moore (which I highly recommend!), and she talks about when we are tempted in the dvd's that go along with it. One week she said when we are tempted the best thing we can do is turn on praise and worship music, because our mind is taken off of it and onto worshipping our God. Now, I LOVE praise and worship music, and when I have not given into temptation through food and listened to this advice it worked way better than any other dietician's out there. So, maybe that will help.
I'm glad you are being so open, I have been praying today that I can get myself back under control, so I will pray for you as well!
I actually found your blog through your mom's (I think) a while ago. Your family is adorable. I'll try to be more faithful about commenting. :)
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