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Saturday, March 24, 2012

about a walk

Have you ever taken an almost-four-year-old diva on a walk in the rain? You are probably thinking things like:

What?! No. You are crazy.
Why would you take her out in the RAIN?!
Are you glutton for punishment??
Apparently you don't enjoy nice peaceful walks.

All those thoughts are valid and true. SIGH. Yesterday I really wanted to get a walk in, but it was raining. I looked at the radar and it appeared I had time between rainfalls to get my walk done.  So I put Piper in the (COVERED) bike stroller, gave her a snack, a drink and her "nose-rag" (she has a runny nose so she uses an old burp cloth to wipe it instead of using tissue after tissue).

At first it was great.  We were chatting, she was munching, life was good. Then the unthinkable happened. Dirt had the audacity to plant itself on her nose-rag. She whimpers "Momma! My nose-rag is DIRTY!". I said "Piper, it's ok, just use the part that isn't dirty." Enter Meltdown #1. Piper begins to cry and yell in her high-pitched voice "MY NOSE-RAG IS DIRTY AND GROSS!" over and over again. I stopped walking, opened the cover and informed her if she did not stop crying over a silly dirt spot on her nose-rag, she would be receiving a spank. End of Meltdown #1 and the walk resumes.

From this point to the point where we turn around to head back home, she continues to pebble me with tiny complaints like "Something dripped on me! The rain is dripping on me!" or "I want a pretty flower!" oh and let's not forget "MY CUP SPILLED!" and "I can't see!" as well as the never-ending "I want to go home! I don't LIKE this walk!".  As you can probably imagine, Mama didn't like this walk either and by the time we turned around (still having 1.5 miles to go) I was fully aware of my stupidity.

For a brief five minutes or so, the sun started to peek out, Piper wanted her cover opened, and things were peaceful again. Until....I hear her frustrated, disgruntled sigh followed by whining. Taking a deep breath, I say "What's wrong now, Piper?" to which she replies, in tears, "OH MY DEAR! (yes, she really said that) I have DIRT on my FOOT now!!" After another deep breath I say "Piper, it's not a big deal, I can easily wipe your feet when we get home." Meltdown #2 ensues and ends exactly the way Meltdown #1 ended, with a promise of a spank. But this time, she silently cries the whole way home, every now and then kicking her foot in anger and informing me she needs a bath because she is "SO DIRTY!". Oh, and did I mention at this point it begins to rain a nice, solid rain shower?!

(this is not from yesterday but I promise you THAT is the face she had inside her covered stroller)

We finally make it home. I tell Piper to run up on the porch while I get our stuff put away in the garage. I knew she was likely over-reacting to having been "SO DIRTY" but what I found is NOT what I expected. When we got inside, I looked at her feet. She had ONE tiny little piece of a leaf stuck to her foot. ONE. TINY. PIECE.

The moral of this story? No more walks in the rain with a diva. Please learn from my experience and don't ever do it!!


Kara said...

I'm sorry, but I was cracking up during this entire post! My niece is exactly as diva-ish as Piper, so I totally understand and have experienced many-a-meltdowns. It's frustrating, but funny afterwards!

Alyx said...

HAHAHA! i'm probably a horrible person for laughing at this, but seriously?!!?! That's too funny!
What a little diva!

Keetha Broyles said...


I CAN LOL, I'm way up here and didn't have to deal with even one tiny diva moment.

Poor Pipes - - - all that DIRT on her.

Danavee said...

This. Was. Excellent.

That photo is too.

Heather said...

This is hilarious (sorry) and that picture is amazingly priceless. It definitely needs to go in her wedding slideshow. :)

Mary Jo said...

I love this story!!! Thanks for the laugh and the smile that is still on my face. Being a mom of 5which 3 of them are girls you can imagine the silly meltdowns that go on around my house!
:) MJ